As we talked a little bit about last week, this whole summer has been about a whole lot of transitions. Community college to university, hometown to big city, engaged to married, nanny to freelancer. It is beautiful, but it is a lot. One of my main coping mechanisms has been intentionally saying hello as much as goodbye.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m processing and grieving bits and pieces that will just need to be left behind. The pottery studio, friends, the community college campus, and more will all continue to grow and evolve without me. I know that I’m saying goodbye to all of that, and have been doing so in my own time, but I refuse to let that be my main focus. This is not merely a time full of endings, but beginnings as well. It’s all just another piece of moving my life. I’m saying goodbye and hello, not one or the other, and I think that’s something that a lot of people miss when they are making major life transitions like this.
I’m not going to launch into a “there are two kinds of people” spiel, but I think it is safe to say that people tend to approach change with one of two mindsets: goodbye & hello.
The first is the “Everything is changing and this is terrible and look at what I’m leaving behind and I don’t know where I’m going.” These people tend to view change with anxiety, fear, sadness, or depression. Change is difficult and sad, that is all. These are the “Goodbye” people.
There’s another group of people that never fully processes the change, and stays focused on what is ahead. New friends, new places, new jobs, all new new new and then suddenly they realize that things that used to be there are missing. Because they did not take the time to take in the change and what would no longer be a part of their lives, it either all hits them at once or they just keep running. They view change with excitement and joy, but sometimes it all feels a little forced and surface level. These are the “Hello” people.
I ended up processing all of this simply because this song came on the radio.
You say goodbye, and I say hello hello hello… Running through your head yet?
The thing is, as with most opposites, we need both. Everyone needs night and day, cold and hot, loud and quiet, and both hello and goodbye. As easy as it is to zone in on one facet of all the changes, we must process both to make a healthy, happy, and complete transition. So, this week, as I continue to pack up my childhood room and hear my sister’s big plans for it, I will continue being intentional about saying hello and goodbye.
Have you said both hello and goodbye to your most recent transition?